Saturday, July 26, 2008

'I am hoping that other posters can offer us some guidance on how to be of assistance with this. My stepson graduated in May - well, almost. He has two more credits to complete before it's official. Since he has been home, he stays up all night, sleeps most of the day, rarely leaves his room (video games) and doesn't want to talk about what to do next because he says that there is too much "white noise." He has let his appearance go. We have offered all manner of things - we will pay for you to go finish your last two credits in France - we will pay for you to meet with a vocational counselor and discuss career options - we will help you look into different types of jobs, etc. Doesn't want to do any of that. We have offered to pay for him to go see a therapist, because he certainly seems depressed to us, and let me tell you, THAT was certainly the wrong thing to suggest, apparently. Can any of you offer any insight into how we could be of more assistance? Should we give him more time, or be more assertive in terms of saying, "right, either you ARE going to France, get packed OR you are going to see a therapist!" We want to do the right thing here and help anyway we can, but we can't seem to get any type of traction in terms of communicating with him. Anytime we mention any of this, he says "you just want to get rid of me!" This is not true. But at the same time, we don't want him to spend his life in a dark room playing video games. Any suggestions that any of you may have would be appreciated. Any insight would also be helpful.'-from life after college

It sounds like you're in quite the predicament and I'm sure your son is going through quite the trying times right now. I hope by the time this post reaches you, you have already found the solution. If not i hope i can be of some help.
My brother has recently finished his fourth year and he seems to be in the same boat as your son. He was one class short of graduating. My parents tried to offer their help and give him direction but anytime they would be bring up some advice he would just close up and say 'i know i know.' So this situation can definitely be very tough. I believe my generation is very different than past ones. At this point in his life it can be very confusing and it's hard to see the light; we become stuck in this hole of indecision. I believe it is because our generation has lived in total prosperity and convenience. We have essentially have had a lot handed to us. So we really haven't had to make a lot of 'big' decisions. And i'm speaking as being a part of this generation, i'm 23.
The best piece of advice would be to get him to focus. He needs to decide for HIMSELF to go back to college, not to be forced to go. But you can certainly guide him to that decison. Ask him 'guidance' questions. Asking the right questions will get him to the right answers. Ask him what are his desires and dreams. Once he has determined where he wants to go. Then you can track the steps he needs to take to get there. One of those steps IS going to be to go to college. It's just going to make sense to get that extra tool to help him to where he wants to go. Especially being so close to graduating.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

After College

I have this theory that the United States conditions us to be unprepared for college graduation. Let me explain; ever since we were 6 years old we have always been in school. Every year there is always school to catch us. Then after we graduate, suddenly school isn't there as our 'safety net.' We haven't been to taught to plan ahead... we are unprepared. I have found that so many people give up their dreams because of this. They simply do not know what to do with their lives. Any thoughts?